Taken from the Plain English Campaign, some phrases the English language could really do without:
       • at the end of the day
       • with all due respect
       • basically
       • to be (perfectly) honest
       • bear with me
       • I hear what you're saying
       • literally
       • it's not rocket science
       • awesome (?!?!?)

My addition:
       • no offense

All the girls think he's hot. Sure he's got gorgeous muscular arms, long lashes and bright green eyes, but the only thing that comes to mind when I look at him, talk to him is "lugnut" -- whatever that means. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey lugnut. Possibly the biggest turn-off: his obsession with money. On the drive into work this morning, we talked about the ROM's $30 million gift from Michael Lee-Chin.
        LugNut: Aw man I would LOVE to have $30 million.
        WingGirl: And what would you do with $30 million?
His answer wasn't that important. In fact, I don't remember exactly what the answer was. All I noticed was how slowly he licked his lips at the thought of so much money.

I met him at the LCBO this afternoon. "Nice day eh? Which way are you going? Yeah? Me too. Nice day, nice day. I just live around the corner. So glad the snow's gone eh? My name's Freddy, what's yours? Hey look at the pussycat... She's a pretty one. You like animals too? I love animals. Sometimes I love them more than I love people. Cuz they don't talk back to you eh? Which way are you going? I'm just over here. Yeh. I've lived in St Catharines about 45 years. I got a son. He has a dog -- I think he had a dog. The A & P? That's near my house eh. I gotta keep an eye on my beer you know? My landlord -- he's into the cocaine. And the lady, she's into narcotics. I just keep out of it you know? I packed my stuff up and moved cuz I don't wanna have to deal with it. He's really into coke. He just goes into my room, messed up, and steals all my clothes. So this place I'm in, you see that green church over there? That's my house beside it. It's a rooming house. Gotta double lock my door eh. These guys, if they see this can of beer, they'll all come over. Two, three guys will want some of it. The A & P, it's just around the corner. Well this is my house. I hope to see you around. My name is Freddy. It was a pleasure walking with you on such a nice day."

I work with a doodiehead at the bar. She thinks I'm a retard. I just think she's a bitch. On my walk home last night, I gobbled up a pound of chicken wings. They were sooooooooooooooooo good. Then I felt sick. I have grown two pimples in awkward regions: 1) the area in your crotch region where your leg meets your pelvis (hurts when I cross my legs!) 2) on the inside of my boob, where the underwire digs into my chest.
~ Mildred Pierce, St Kitts

If we were still at the ROM, you'd call me this afternoon and I'd get to take a jumprope break in the afternoon with you.
~ Catwoman, O-Town

Served a great couple tonight. They just got out of choir practice, but swear to me that they are far from ecclesiastical. "We're choir sluts. We're only there to sing." By day, they work for Direct Energy -- the rest of their time is devoted to music. Craig and Susan. Susan sings madrigals and Craig is also a gourmet chef hired to go to people's houses and cook for them. They've invited me over for dinner on a Sunday night :) But you know what? I can't think of food right now -- thought those words would never be uttered from my lips? Hah. On my walk home, I inhaled eight chicken wings, which had been fried, refried and tossed with butter and cajun spices. By my last wing, my heart started to hurt and my throat and tongue were coated in grease. A nasty yet delicious feeling. Who'd have thought that butter on chicken wings could be so tasty...

Cats, cats and more cats! I miss Annie and Brie :(

All he did was capture the plight of North Korean refugees on film. Charged in 2003 with smuggling illegal immigrants into China, Seok Jae-hyun was released last week after 14 months of confinement. According to the Chinese foreign minister, "These refugees that you talk about do not exist." Perhaps you shouldn't read this, Ted. You don't need anymore reasons to despise mainlanders.

Hello, sweet sweet bed.

My thumbs are bleeding.
Feeling like getting naked in Toronto this afternoon?

Three shifts down, two more to go. I am going to LOVE my bed after work on Friday night. I really didn't want to work St. Patrick's Day. So what if the tips might be better -- I can only take so much. The boss asked me to work at the last minute, but I was so tired from work that night, his words didn't really register in my brain. All I did was nod. So I finally got in and I'll be getting 3 hours of sleep if I'm lucky – and I get to do it all over again tomorrow night. One party tonight pulled a D&D. Those fuckers. "We're good for now. We'll probably in a little while." Gone. Ah well. The bill only came to around 20 dollars. That's almost four issues of Real Simple! Gah. Busy nights also bring out the bitch in people. I could sense that in our bartenders and tonight, they sure let their claws show. So they've all gone to smoke a fat one at someone's house, then headed up Lake Street to Perkins for some grub. I really can't stand hanging around the drunk/high and obnoxious. Besides, I'm too old for that shit. I hope I don't fall down. Good morning.

Fun night out with S & M. First Swiss Chalet, then an evening with Kevin Smith at Roy Thomson Hall. Here are some reactions from those who also attended.
I am so glad I got to catch The Syringa Tree, a one-woman play at CanStage this afternoon. Throughout the run, two women have been alternating in the role of Lizzie, a six-year-old South African girl. Today's Lizzie was played by Yanna McIntosh and she was amazing. Tears in my eyes? But of course. The show is in its final week and I only wish I could stick around to see Caroline Cave's performance.

If I haven't said it already, I absolutely LOVE coming to work every day. Where else can I chat with a milliner on my coffee break or see wigs and corsets up close? If only the commute weren't such a hassle, I could see myself sticking around for a little while if they wanted me to...
My fingertips and thumbtips are splitting open at lightning speed. I was so busy at the bar last night, that I didn't even notice that I was bleeding all over the touchscreen. Oop. So now I've got four out of ten digits bandaged -- which sure make it hard to type! I look like the victim of a meat-slicing mishap.

Gosh these boys are friendly. A stranger approaches me from an alleyway downtown.
Guy: Hey hey hey? Where are you going? I like the way you walk. What's your name?
Me: Katherine.
Guy: Yeh? Where are you going, Katherine? Are you a student? Can I come with you? (gives me the once over-- must be the boots)
Me: I was just out for a walk. I am going home now. No you may not.
Guy: Can I call you? Do you have a boyfriend? Is he waiting for you at home? (seems to think my eyes are on my chest)
Me: I don't normally talk to strangers. I should go.
Guy: I'm not just a stranger. I'm Patrick. What's your name? (puts his hand out, thank god I'm wearing gloves)
Me: Katherine. I have to do stuff.
Guy: Katherine. I like that name. Are you sure I can't come home with you? Will I see you again? (didn't he give me the thrice over already?)
Me: It's a small town. I'm sure I will.
How could she pass up the date of a lifetime? Trust me ladies, it ain't easy...

When I was young-er, I refused to wear pink. Mom was worried that I might not be interested in boys.

Pardon me, but whose blood is this? says: tell me about the S in PST. siobahn?
PST says: Samuel
PST says: also--'Provincial Sales Tax'
PST says: I'm 8 per cent more than the average guy
Pardon me, but whose blood is this? says: but who really needs the extra 8%?
PST says: when it comes to me baby, the ladies want all they can get

Counting down seven days to Toronto! Things I must do when I get back (in no particular order):

• eat
• see the Changs (Annie and Brie included!)
• fix the eyebrows
• hear Kevin Smith speak
• see friends -- or at least call them and not have to worry about my LD bill adding up
• see him
• catch a play
• catch a film
• eat some more

Things I might do when I get back:

• stuff myself silly
• tell him I think he's swell

I have way too much tolerance for arrogance. Even more so when arrogance insists on paying for dinner.

Thanks for bringing me here Pattycakes.

Worked the All-U-Can-Eat Wing Night at the Honest Lawyer. It is such a shame that I just missed football season. Two months ago, I would have been serving wings and beer in a cheerleader outfit. Bleh. It's not a matter of dignity – I just feel more at home in a kilt and knee-highs.

According to Kim Jong Il, the "three main fools of the 21st century" are:

• people ignorant about music
• people ignorant about computers
• smokers

Funny there is no mention of people who allow millions of their countrymen to die of starvation being fools. I guess if you're a world leader, you can get away with pretty much anything. In 2003, Kim's onetime chef, who had fled to Japan, published a book entitled Kim Jong Il's Chef, where he tells of the wild and crazy antics of his Dear Leader. Really, I'm sure the man isn't as high-maintenance as the chef paints him out to be