the day had been going so well...

A good morning kiss, coffee and cuddles on the couch, a leisurely stroll along Queen West, a well-spent hour in a vintage store on Ossington, a last-minute decision to clean up the eyebrows, the latest issue of Fine Cooking waiting for me at home: I was so glad that I'd had a full day to relax before the impending two-week shitfest, also known as Winterlicious.

Health-wise, I'd had an early morning visit yesterday from the Green Apple Splatters. Cold sweats, explosive discomfort and an unanswered plea for a very sharp knife. My hell. The monster had come and gone in less than an hour. I was relieved that the pain did not last too long -- but boy was I naive to assume that the monster had left for good. :(

I was packed and ready to head out for the gym (yeah, you heard me -- the gym!) this afternoon when I thought "Hmm... I'm feeling a little peckish. I've got some time to kill before catching the streetcar. How about some yogurt?" Yes, creamy yogurt.

The monster didn't really leave yesterday. He'd spent the next 30 hours hiding in my colon, waiting for me to do something careless. Like eat yogurt. I should have known that his appearances always happened in pairs, if not trios. He's never gone until all the purging is done. And purge my colon, I did.

In terms of squirting brown, I am pretty sure that I won't be having any more episodes for the next little while. That would be extremely unfortunate should it happen right in the middle of service over the next few weeks. Our reservation book is so packed with 905ers and people who love dining in groups of six or more, that I will not have a chance to run down to the crapper any time between 6:30 and 10:30. Even if I were to wear diapers, I'd rather not have to think about squidging around in gravy while serving Bengali Chicken curry. Stinky times. No amount of burnt cinammon could ever cover that up.

So I never made it to the gym because I was waylaid by the trots. The visit, though quick (but extremely painful), made me miss my 6pm class. Just to be on the safe side, I ate grapes for dinner. I am so very very hungry right now.